


throes and woes (and everything in between)

by niigoki



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon, Roadtrip, Season 5 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niigoki/pseuds/niigoki
Summary: They're in love and can talk about it now.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra - Relationship
Comments: 20
Kudos: 582





	throes and woes (and everything in between)

Throughout her whole life, Catra had dealt with many things – emotional blow after physical blow, the hurt and pain of betrayal, being pushed to the ground only to rise back up with her own two legs. She was strong, a survivor, and at this point, she thought that she could deal with anything life threw at her.

And yet, Catra didn’t know how to deal with _this_.

Staring at Adora’s sleeping, peaceful face millimeters away from hers, Catra was sure that she was being torn apart from the inside out. Even though everyone had brought their own sleeping bags to this road trip, Catra rarely used hers anymore. Adora’s was warmer, and Catra could look at her better if they just shared, so she always snuggled her way into the girl’s arms at some point in the night.

And she always stared once Adora fell asleep.

Catra didn’t know what to do with herself. She’s always known that she loved Adora, but never expected her feelings to lead anywhere; not when they were still in the Horde, and specially not afterwards. Catra had resigned herself to spend the rest of her life keeping her feelings hidden if it meant that she could spend it by Adora’s side.

Certain circumstances made that impossible to accomplish.

Now that she _did_ let her feelings out – and worse yet, was reciprocated –, what was she supposed to do with this pain inside her chest that seemed carve a hole in her heart every single time she _looked_ at Adora? If she had known love would hurt more than any physical injury she’s ever received, she would’ve thought twice.

Except, not really.

Reaching out, Catra brushed a lose strand of hair from Adora’s cheek. The blonde grunted a little, but didn’t wake up. Catra smiled softly. She wanted… she wanted to—

She wanted to do too many things all at once.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Catra whispered, removing her hand and pulling it back to her chest. She could simply lean forward and steal a kiss. She was allowed to do that, now. But still, it felt like a dream. Just like holding Adora’s hand felt like a dream, and sharing a sleeping bag with her felt like a dream.

Catra wondered if she would ever get used to loving someone so incredibly much, and if the pain would subdue at some point.

She wasn’t in a rush to find out.

\--

“I bet I can catch more fish than you,” Glimmer smirked, already with one leg inside the river, the hem of her pants rolled up.

“Psh, as if!” Bow promptly grabbed his arrows.

“Without fancy gadgets.”

“What! Then you can’t use your magic, either.” Bow pouted, putting the arrows back down hesitantly.

“Wasn’t planning to.” And with one roll of her shoulders, Glimmer dived into the refreshing water, coming up for air afterwards and giggling. “Come on, lazy pants!”

Bow smiled and followed suit after rolling his pants up and removing his shirt for comfort. The two of them started looking for fish at first, but ended up just splashing water on each other and laughing for most of the time.

Adora watched with a soft smile, then glanced at Catra beside her. “Wanna take a dip?”

“I’m sorry, are you asking me if I want to get in the water?” Catra’s biting rebuttal was met with silence while Adora stripped to just her shorts and top. Catra lost all her sass as soon as she realized that her – what were they now?– _Adora_ was almost naked beside her. “W-what are you—”

“Hm? I’m not gonna get my clothes wet.” Adora replied, the smile never leaving her face. “Come on, I know you don’t like water, but it’s refreshing.”

“I think I’ll— pass.” Catra cleared her throat, avoiding looking at Adora’s physique for too long. She could feel her cheeks getting hot, and if Adora realized it, she would never hear the end of it. “I’ll just play with some leaves, or something.”

“Are you sure? I can stay and help you look for some cool leaves, if you want.” It was meant to be a joke, but the underlying concern over not letting Catra be alone again was apparent, and that pain inside her chest was back with full force.

“It’s _fine_ , Adora.” Catra hoped that the tone wasn’t harsh, but it was still hard for her to mince words most of the time – specially when she was nervous. Which definitely had nothing to do with Adora’s perfectly sculpted body. Catra tried to force a smile to cover it up. “Catch me some fish, yeah?”

“Alright, alright.” Adora raised her hands in defeat. Then, she hesitated for a second, and awkwardly took a step forward, placing a soft kiss on Catra’s cheek. “Be right back.”

After that, Adora sped up to the water, ears a bit red. Catra stood there, frozen for a moment. This was so weird. The fact that they could – wanted to – show affection to each other like this, it burned Catra’s insides.

She wanted to do that, too. But Adora had always been braver.

\--

Watching the sun setting was always a magical experience for everyone on the trip. There was just something about the sky at that time of day that left an impression and lifted the mood up for dinner. They’ve been walking for a day, and decided to stop on top of a valley with the most beautiful view of the horizon. Bow placed the bags and tents neatly at an empty spot under a tree, and rushed when Glimmer called for him. “Bow, it’s setting!”

“Coming!” He walked over to the rest of the group and sat down next to Glimmer. The view was tremendously beautiful.

Catra didn’t miss how Glimmer rested her head against Bow’s shoulder. That princess was smooth, in a way that she would never manage to be. At least not yet. Maybe soon.

The mood was perfect, but doing anything remotely romantic in front of Glimmer and Bow always made Catra uneasy. Deep inside, she still clung to the idea that being vulnerable was a weakness, and she knew that the healing process regarding this part of her would take long. Catra hoped with all her heart that Adora would stick around long enough to see her grow into someone worthy of her.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Adora’s voice was low next to Catra. She was talking to her, only.

With a quick glance to Glimmer and Bow, who had their eyes closed and hands intertwined, Catra replied just as low. “It is. It’s nothing like we experienced at the Horde, huh?”

“The world outside the Horde is so bright and wonderful,” Adora’s features were relaxed and she softened her gaze, looking at Catra. “I’m so glad you’re here with me, seeing all of it.”

A soft breeze blew against Adora’s golden locks as she stared, and Catra swore that nothing in the whole entire universe was as beautiful as this moment. The pain was back, increased twofold, and she had to fight against clutching her chest. What was this? And how could she make it stop?

Did she even want it to stop?

“Adora…” The pain made her spill words, made her want to do _things_ —

“Yeah?”

Adora’s expectant gaze was too much. There was no judgement, no pressure in her blue eyes, and Catra had no idea _how to deal with this_.

“T-thank you. For… not giving up on me.” It wasn’t what she wanted to say, or do, but she wasn’t brave. Not yet.

Adora looked at her with such love in her eyes, and Catra wondered if her words had the same effect on Adora as Adora’s existence had on Catra. The answer was well-received. “Thank you for not giving up on yourself, too.”

Every time Catra genuinely smiled, Adora seemed to blush, and right now was no exception. It was a sight Catra hoped to see for years to come.

Look at her. Thinking about a future with Adora.

Glimmer’s voice brought her back to reality. “Aw, over already? It’s always so short.”

Adora’s eyes finally left her. It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and Catra breathed normally again.

“Should we cook the fish I caught?” Adora asked, getting up.

“Yeah!”

“You mean, the fish you caught just for me?” Catra teased, receiving a scowl from the Bright Moon queen.

“You’re not going to eat all of it.”

“Hmm, I dunno, I’m feeling very hungry.”

And with that, Glimmer teleported away to hoard some fish for herself, followed by Bow’s exasperated sigh, and Adora’s giggles. Catra got up too, lighter than a feather.

\--

Catra did not, in fact, eat all the fish, but she did pretend to still be starving after finishing her portion of dinner. Bow tried to compromise by giving her some fruit, which was met with a grimace at first, but shiny eyes once she tasted it.

“I had the same reaction the first time I ate it.” Adora nodded in understanding.

The stars above them were countless and shining, and Bow took out his new string instrument he carried around and started playing a soothing song. With their stomachs full and a wonderful day gone by, the group closed their eyes and touched their backs to nearby trees, enjoying the music.

Catra tilted her head up to look at the bright sky. It was jarring to think how different her life had been up until a few weeks ago. She touched her shorter hair, remembering what Horde Prime had done to her, and sighed internally. She had been near those stars, but they still looked prettier from down below.

“Hey,” Adora spoke next to her. “Want to go for a walk?”

“O-oh. Yeah, sure thing.” Catra cursed herself for stuttering and got up, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

“We’ll be right back!” Adora told the other two, walking ahead. Catra followed her until they were walking side by side.

The woods were nice and calm, with few trees around them. Catra could see their every step, and the silence was starting to make her nervous again. She hated to feel this way around Adora, but that was to be expected after the shift in their relationship. At the same time, she wished things could go back to being simple.

Gazing down at their hands dangling side by side, Catra bit the inside of her cheek and decided to stop being a coward for once. She reached for Adora’s hand.

For her surprise, Adora had the same idea at the same time, so their knuckles bumped into each other a bit too strongly.

“Oh, sorry!” Adora apologized.

“No, it was me, s-sorry.” Catra said, almost at the same time.

The silence was awkward, then they both laughed lightly at the ridiculous situation. Adora offered her hand again, and this time, Catra held it. Adora’s palms were calloused like hers, but Catra still treated them like they were made of glass.

They kept walking, hand in hand, and Catra felt her heart speeding up. There it was again, the weird sensation. It didn’t hurt this time, though. It was just… bubbling up.

“So, are you enjoying this trip?” Adora broke the ice.

“It’s nice to be out again,” Catra shrugged. “No offense, but being cooped up in a castle isn’t really my style.”

“You have a whole garden at your disposal!” Adora pretended to chastise her.

“I practically live there, it gets boring after a week.”

“You could’ve asked me to—” Adora stopped, realizing that she was trying to be a savior again. She’s been working on that. “Could’ve asked _someone_ to train with you, or something.”

Catra chuckled. “As if anyone other than you could handle me in a fight.”

“You say that as if Glimmer hasn’t beaten you up countless times.” Adora smirks.

“She has not!”

“Oh, yeah? I guess we could include ‘battle training’ in our road trip itinerary.”

“Aren’t you tired of fighting?”

Adora kind of stopped at this and blinked. “Wow, I never expected to hear this coming from you.”

“Shut up.” Catra bumped into her with her shoulder, making Adora laugh. She still melted at the sound of it. Her heartbeat got stronger and Catra slightly brushed a thumb over Adora’s, hiding a smile of her own.

“Let’s stop here,” Adora said after a while, sitting down at the edge of a low hill. She pulled Catra down with her, gently, but kept holding her hand all the while.

Catra stared at the bright horizon, feeling the breeze and Adora’s hand in hers. Everything felt surreal.

“What’s on your mind?” Adora asked, because she could read Catra like a book.

“It’s just… it doesn’t feel real. Sometimes.”

“What doesn’t?”

Catra blushed, looking down at their hands. “You know. This. Everything.” Her eyes went up to Adora. “Us.”

“Yeah. I know what you mean.” The answer surprised Catra. She could’ve sworn she saw Adora’s cheeks redden as well, and breathed out a low laugh. Look at them, acting like bumbling teenagers in love. Maybe that’s what they were.

Catra knew that it was so much more than that.

“I—” They finally had a moment to themselves, after a long time, and there were things she wanted to say, things she wanted to _do_ , but Catra had no idea how to start any of them. She hated her complexes and traumas for it, but she promised that she would try to become a better person. It was what Adora deserved. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more… forward.”

Adora tilted her head sideways. “Forward?”

“You know… with gestures, and words, and all that.” She could feel her heart beating strongly in her ears. “I want to. There are so many things I want to tell you, want to do with you. But when I think about doing them, it’s like I… shut down.”

“Catra…”

“It makes me really happy when you do these things,” She gripped Adora’s hand tighter. “I guess I just feel… inadequate? Sometimes. When you… k-kiss my cheek, or hold my hand, and I can’t even reciprocate. But I want to.” She was rambling now. “I just didn’t want you to think that I don’t. It’s just… hard for me.”

Adora waited for her to be done, then scooted closer. “We’re holding hands right now. That counts for something, right?” Catra didn’t reply. “And you know that I don’t have any weird expectations when it comes to these things, right? I mean, I don’t know what I’m doing, either. It’s new territory for both of us.”

Catra just nodded. She liked hearing Adora talk.

“But, for what’s worth, it makes me happy that you want to hold hands, too.” Adora finished with a soothing voice and a gaze that was so fond, that Catra could feel it physically piercing her. The feeling was back again, with full force, and this time she didn’t stop her hand from touching her chest.

Adora frowned, worried. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Catra wanted to explain. “It’s just… sometimes, when you’re close like this, it’s like my chest is about to explode. It’s been happening frequently, and I can’t get it to stop.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “Oh,” She bit her lower lip, leaning forward a bit. “Do you… want it to stop?”

She was so close that Catra could feel her warmth and her breath on her cheek. She tilted her head towards Adora a little. “I don’t… know. I don’t think it’s bad.”

“I don’t think it’s bad, either.”

“Have you… felt it, too?”

“Yeah, I think I have.”

“When?”

With one hand, Adora gently lifted Catra’s chin, so they could touch foreheads. The bubbling sensation had turned into a thunderstorm. “When you came back. When you laughed with me again, after so long. When we do this. I’m kinda feeling it right now.”

Her voice was melodious, and low, and _wonderful,_ and Catra has no idea how she had lived a life without Adora for so long. It was like nothing had meaning without the woman in front of her, nothing existed but the two of them. Adora was her whole world, and like Etheria, Catra had almost destroyed it.

“When you told me you loved me, I felt it really hard.” Adora nearly whispered.

“I love you.” Catra said, immediately. She cupped her face with one hand. “I love you so much, Adora, it scares me, sometimes.”

Adora half-laughed, half-sobbed, eyes on Catra’s lips. “Say it again.”

“I love you.” Catra has never meant anything more than these three words. “I’m in love with you.”

They met halfway, lips soft and familiar, and Catra thought that every kiss they’ve ever shared was better than the last. She wanted to pour everything into it, all the complicated feelings she’s been feeling, all the absolute devotion she carries for the woman in front of her. One kiss isn’t enough. So Catra pulls back and whispers ‘I love you’, again and again in the space between their mouths, and they kiss like the world is about to end.

But the world can’t end, because her life has just begun. And Catra refuses to let her happiness slip away this time.

\--

They must had been out for a long time, because Bow and Glimmer were already sleeping when they returned. Careful not to wake them, Adora maneuvered her sleeping bag on the ground, placing it farther away. When she looked up, Catra was staring at her, her tail moving side to side.

Adora smiled, getting inside her sleeping bag, and opening her arms. “Come here.”

Catra, relieved, happily got under the covers, snuggling against Adora’s chest. She wrapped one arm around her, tucking her head under Adora’s chin. She purred contently and Adora giggled. “Comfy?”

“Mhm,” Catra breathed out. “You?”

“Yeah. You’re very warm.”

Catra smiled. “Goodnight, Adora.”

“Goodnight, Catra.”

A silent moment passed, then Catra slowly opened her eyes. Before Adora could fall asleep, she gently placed a kiss on her neck, making the blonde shiver. Then she pressed another one on her jaw, and lifted up her torso to place one last kiss to her lips.

“Hey, I love you,” Catra whispered. “Don’t forget it, okay?”

Adora’s response was pulling her back down for another, deeper kiss. Then, she pulled away. “I love you, too.”

Catra didn’t know how to deal with _this_ , but maybe she didn’t have to deal with it at all.

Adora was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> they can be happy now, i'm going crazy. absolutely fuckin insane.


End file.
